November 8, 2014

My Week In Review : A Full Moon And ... A Job Offer

Monday:   A typical day at the "home office". I cook. I clean. I cook ... I clean.
Tuesday: The revving of a chainsaw signals my suspicious neighbour's return from "overseas". It's 8am, and no surprises, he madly goes about giving the nephrolepis cordifolia beneath my front window - a jagged #1 haircut ....But with a chainsaw?



I want to yell: STOP right there! you pointy-headed feral!  Instead, I retreat behind a curtain. After all, the fern will soon grow back .... And things could be worse!

Wednesday arrives with a word of warning:  Beware job offers made beneath the glare of a full moon.


However, I answer the call, seize the day and the employment opportunity - with relish ....Make that tomato relish (so it turns out). This puts to one side, my thoughts on how to avoid my Fishbone fern challenged neighbour. 

I shave my whiskers ....What a difference that makes. And, I present my job-ready self to my new employer. On day one, I'd hate to resemble a freelance unemployee that's let herself go (like Ronn Moss with that post Bold & Beaut ...semi-up-do. What indeed is he thinking?).

Thursday: So with the full moon and the job offer, comes the Catch-22. I'm asked to bring my own laptop. Easy. My 10 inch notebook does the trick. It's all I have ....can afford (however I do love it for its portability). I imagine it's only temporary, and in no time I expect to be given my own desk/space to sit at? ...And maybe a fixed computer, that's bigger than a postage stamp? (unlike my notebook laptop, that is) ...just like the other employees who sit at normal computers (like grown-ups and not the work-experience kid) ... on their own cushiony, swivelling office chairs individual desks - with drawers. (And endearing snaps of cats or their darling nuclear families, plastered all over adjacent filing cabinets.)

But no cigar there, and I discover there's a workplace apartheid in operation and my no-fixed/make shift workspace permanent? However, we're all equal in that everyone's entitled to toilet roll! Could be worse. 

But wait, there's more!!

Friday: On day three I discover the HR guy isn't joking when he insists, in order to be paid, I must provide an ABN (Australian Business Number). And he won't take my no for answer, when I (congenially) tell him that the ATO (Australian Tax Office) won't give me one - since I'm not, nor ever have been - a sole trader, contractor, or business owner. 

He replies (congenially) that he will only complete my contract when I have that number. And I begin to think, that my new "job" is starting to look more like a Rubik's Cube.



  1. Sounds odd, if you're being employed as an individual and not a company why would you have a business number? Hope it gets sorted.

  2. I smell trouble.

  3. Sometimes sadly it's a case of "how badly can we treat the contractor".
    If you had your own ABN number you would need to invoice the company etc, i.e. set yourself up as a small business. Then there are tax issues to be addressed.
    The employer should have made it clear at the beginning the in terms of your employment.
    It's a tricky situation, as Centrelink may not view it kindly if you choose to leave the job..
    I do hope it all works out for you.

  4. Hi, it's Jenny again. I forgot to mention that if the company is a start-up or growing rapidly, it may be just a case of hiring staff and completing the admin/logistics issues later. I have worked at a quickly growing company where contractors were working in the kitchen with their laptops, as there was no other space available. The situation was soon rectified. Be Positive but realistic :)

    1. Hi Jenny, Thanks for the helpful reply. You're right, being positive is key. And prior to getting my ABN I consulted Fairwork Aust, the ATO, my bank balance (zero), and horoscope (of course last one's not true.) And "it's all good" as they say. Again thanks so much for the feedback.