August 26, 2015

TV Today . . .

It's been a tiring week of familial duties. And with an additional, unexpected (quite random) sibling conniption to traverse, tuned in today - for the first time - to watch a repeat of last night's episode of The Bachelor Australia. 

And despite describing Bachie Sam Wood as beige ...the entire set-up certainly took my mind off the underwhelming week I've had. 

But I say, if you're going to watch trash - to take one's mind off REAL sh*tty reality - it may as well be the best, lowest level of trash. And finding those cooking shows too stressful (enough to put one off boiling an egg for life), and home reno dramas as boring as listening to paint dry, I think I'm now quite possibly glued to Mr. Bachelor, and finding out who gets the golden goose, that lays the prerequisite golden egg.

And who cares if he's beige ....all I could think of, was there any chance of getting one of those beige bachelors, delivered to my door - carefully bubble-wrapped via StarTrack Express?? ...this afternoon please Mr. Postman? With free return delivery if he doesn't meet my expectations? But who'd want to be that fussy anyway?

Naturally, couldn't wait to see the next instalment, same day, several hours later. (Yes I know. I need to get a life. Need to get a job, then I'll get a life and so forth). 

But back to the trashie Bachie. 

On this morning's repeat episode, we see a blonde damsel refused a rose, and thus exiting the mansion. Leaving just one, or was it two remaining blondettes? ....among all those brunettes!

Subsequently, on this evening's fresh episode, we see Bec win the lucky dip and go on the special mystery date, with Bachie Sam. There's dramatic footage of spunkster Sam, riding in a helicopter, making a smooth landing. And no we don't see Bronwyn Bishop disembark.

Instead, with salon quaffed hair blowing in the wind, we see Bec boarding the helicopter. And they head off to their mystery date location ....being indoor sky-diving. WTF!?  And it makes me suddenly grateful that I'm "without a life" sitting on my boring couch.

Meantime, back at the mansion, the possy of brunettes (plus required blondes) on heat, are having a vicious, backstabbing typical girlie chat, over Bec's odds of winning the golden goose.

That said, apparently according to New Weekly, there's already a golden egg on the way!

However, after the indoor sky-diving, I'm exhausted. And quite suddently, over Bachie already.

So I go off to the kitchen to see how the casserole's going ....much more exciting than Bec and Bachie's stilted conversation, as they sit in a garden pavilion discussing Bec's "barriers". Awkward.

In fact, their post sky-diving Q&A, was less riveting than some of the job interviews I've attended.

So my TV romance with the trashie Bachie saga is done with. 

As for all those hard-done by Bachie rejects, I suggest hanging-out at their local fish and chip shop, or supermarket vegetables section, may present better options for nabbing a Bachie facsimile.


Groundhog Day with the Trashie Bachelor

What the trashie but flashy bachie got up to last night ...?!

Lessons learned from the Trashie Bachie


  1. Oh no! you've been coerced into watching 'The Bachelor'. This can't be good, addiction might ensue. Before long, you'll start dribbling, you'll place cheezels into your mouth one after another, without even realising. You'll start using words like 'oh my god, oh my god', 'intruders', and 'seriously' a lot. You'll start making excuses as to why you can't talk to friends and family on Bachelor TV nights and you'll watch reruns. And worse of all, you'll fail to attend your Job Network appointment, yes, yes I know you'll stoop that low.

    Never fear I've sent in the troops!

    "Put down the remote control....step away from the television" "Put your hands in the air and walk backwards six steps" "Do not look behind you" "Lie face down on the ground with your hands behind your back"

    ...."Officer down officer's ok....the television is switched off and secured"

    Your safe now maam

  2. Don't worry dear reader, have already sort medical intervention. However, as an after thought, wouldn't mind taxpayer money going toward providing indoor sky-diving opportunities, to some of our "self-entitled" flight fetishist pollies. Love to see THAT on YouTube.